the one about Creativity

"In the beginning, God created..." - Genesis 1:1

In the letter that I believe God wrote to us (the timeless story that assures us that perfect love ultimately wins over all evil), the very first thing He tells us about Himself is that He is a Creator. And before that first chapter closes, He has created beings -- humans -- in His own likeness.

The only beings also capable of creating.

Nature certainly worships Him in various ways, but our creativity is the offering that only we can offer for His glory.

When we explore our creativity, we are exploring our capacity for worshiping the Creator.

And I realized that I had been unwittingly withholding my best creativity from Him. For a long time -- way too long -- my creativity was filtered, edited, even defined, by what other people would think of it. Namely, what my parents would think of it.

Of course, people generally don't want to disappoint their parents. But I made most of my creative decisions based on a lifetime of avoiding their disappointment and disapproval. Some of this thinking was rational, deriving from childhood and adolescent experiences. Much of it was just an accrued approval addiction.

Bonnie Miller Katz, MFT, has a column for actors. In one post, she advises, "If you are constantly trying to prove your worth to someone else, it means that deep inside you feel that you are not enough. When you put too much weight on others' opinions, you will always be their prisoner." 

Your inner artist is like a young child. That child cannot play (read: create) truly and freely without feeling safe to do so. As a creative, the opinion of "should" -- imposed by self or others -- often is a dangerous trap for your artist child. Katz says, "Don’t get stuck on what you think you should be doing, feeling or thinking." (I would add "where your life should be by now.") "If you find yourself saying should more than want, you’re on someone else’s path, not your own."

In The Artist's Way, author Julia Cameron expounds on the shift to being spiritually dependent:

"Remembering that God is my source, we are in the position of having an unlimited bank account. Most of us never consider how powerful the creator really is... We decide how powerful God is for us. We unconsciously set a limit on how much God can give us or help us...

God has lots of money. God has lots of movie ideas, novel ideas, poems, songs, paintings, acting jobs. God has a supply of loves, friends, houses that are all available to us. By listening to the creator within, we are led to our right path... Very often, if we cannot seem to find an adequate supply, it is because we are insisting on a particular human source of supply."

Maybe you insist on a human source, too. It's gonna run out. I insisted on the voice of human approval. 

Maybe you perceive a voice:

A friend's. A sibling's. A boyfriend's.

Society's. Church's.

The voice of your own perfectionism.

You can't create for them and also be free.

You can't.

You can't.

Your creativity will always be their prisoner.

You have to create for the glory of the Creator within.

I realized that I assumed the perfect Creator was just like my imperfect parents. My relationship with Him ever-so-gradually became about staving off a huge screw-up, about fearing cosmically and infinitely disappointing Him.

And He's not about that.

He is for you. He is not against you.

He loves you.

He loves your creativity.

He gave it to you.

You and your art are enough because He is more than enough.

You have to create for the glory of the Creator within.

A mere mortal

From the City of Angels

Livin his dream