the one about Pick-Up Lines

"Hey," ...chin nod... "Nice Bible."

"Are you hot? Or is that the Holy Spirit burning inside of you?"

"My Bible seems to be missing Numbers. Can I have yours?"

I'm on the way out of my yearly, autumnal world-weariness. (It would be easier to pull myself together and slip into the Christmas spirit were it not for the juxtaposition of gingerbread lattes and Los Angeles' 77-degree weather slowing the process juuust a bit.)

Whatever my mood, I can almost always be cheered by bad jokes, especially bad pick-up lines. And especially bad Christian pick-up lines.

Now, the vast majority of women I've asked reply that pick-up lines are dumb and "never work." But maybe that's why I like them. Because pick-up lines are underdogs for success.

And nothing goes together as romantically as underdogs and love.

I've been taking a comedy acting class based on the 8 Characters of Comedy. The first and foremost archetype in any comedy --and the one I relate to most-- is the Lovable Loser. These are the Lucille Balls, the Cliff Huxtables, the Ray Barones, the Chandler Bings, the Tim Taylors, the John Dorians, the Liz Lemons and the Nick Millers. These characters know their ideas have a slim chance of working, but they also know they have to try.

And that's why we root for them. They're underdogs.

I can't speak for the rest of the world, but it is clear that Satan has made it a priority to attack the United States' men. Using whatever cruel, underhanded, merciless means possible. And weaken them... 

to mere shells of the men they were destined to be.

This has forced strong women to emerge and carry burdens not meant for them to bear.

Our society has become used to this. And although we (rightfully) laud women with heroic courage and fortitude in the face of men-gone-AWOL, we are now raising generations that think

this is how it's supposed to be.

Soon, we won't have anyone living that can remember a time when men were ever different.

Now, I LOVE my bros. I believe in them, I admire them, I would do anything to see them walk in God-defined success.

I also know their pasts. And I know mine. And I know that the extreme majority of us are underdogs.

And when it comes to love, and when it comes to marriage, my Christian brothers and I might as well be a Jamaican bobsled team with illusions of winning Olympic gold. Left to ourselves,

we don't deserve the women we desire.

Not even close.

Of course, the good news is: we don't have to be left to ourselves. In fact, 

God loves underdogs. 

He loves "against all odds" stories, because they are where He gets glory.

But this led me to think: as we men put on Christ, as we un-learn the abdication of responsibility taught to us for decades, as we grow into restoration and wholeness from our pasts, women will need exceptional strength to relinquish the offices they've long held, to support men in our quest for integrity, and to forgive us when we screw up.

Outside of Christ, there's no way this can happen. A society of less-than-honorable men reversing their ways while, simultaneously, a society of women who've long been faithfully working outside their job description decide men are again trustworthy? Not possible.

But with God ...all things are possible.

To my brothers, be reminded: your past does not define you. Look onward --to Jesus. Fight on. Don't turn back. (Phil 3:12-14)

To my ladies: the next time a guys says "You just broke a commandment by stealing my heart," you may roll your eyes, but don't just dismiss him. Sure, you might say no to him. You might say yes. But that not-so-slick guy is learning every day what it means to be more than a conqueror, growing into Christlikeness. He needs you to be aware of the work God is doing. 

He also needs those digits. Nah mean? ;)

A mere mortal

From the City of Angels

Livin his dream

the one about Juice

I bought a juicer.

On Craigslist.

I bought a Breville juice extractor. 

I was so excited. I'd wanted a juicer ever since I bought my dad one for Christmas. (This is actually a recurring theme--me buying him gifts I want for myself.) Not only did this mean I could have delicious unprocessed juice in the mornings, but it also meant I could perform the *classic* Los Angeles actor

juice cleanse.

No solid food, just fruit and vegetable juices. For ten days.

Before I even began, those 10 days shrank to a week-long, then 5-day, then 3-day cleanse. By the end of day 2, I accidentally drove to Chick-fil-A and got myself a spicy chicken deluxe.

Whatever.

Part of what's so hard about a juice cleanse is that you *can* eat, it just has to be juice. And you can drink til your stomach hurts, but you never really get that satisfied American full feeling.

I want that full feeling.

On some level, we all want that full feeling.

And by deduction, wanting that full feeling means we live knowing *even more* the feeling of being not-full.

Not complete.

Admittedly, actors feel things deeply, but I think artists are aware of this not-full-ness maybe more than the average person.

And the successes of non-Christians were making me feel not-full.

I was recently reading Psalm 73, and it was as if the psalmist was writing down my very thoughts:

"Truly God is good to Israel, to those who hearts are pure

But as for me, I almost lost my footing...

For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness. They seem to live such painless lives; their bodies are so healthy and strong... They’re not plagued with problems like everyone else... These fat cats have everything their hearts could ever wish for! ...Look at these wicked people—enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply."

And then the clincher emotion:

"Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?"

It exposed the sentiment in me that I felt incomplete. And looking at the aspiring actors around me, I'm in good company.

We all feel incomplete. Professionally, financially, socially.

Perhaps you do too.

Because of that, our modus operandi is to constantly seek what we can take from people. Every relationship turns into *filling me*.

What can this other actor do for me? What doors can this casting director open for me? How can this relationship further me?

It's no wonder actors are known for being needy and flaky. And I totally relate.

I don't want to downplay the talent God has given me, but I can't tell you how many times I've...

browsed a headshot website and thought, "Wow. Those guys are way better looking than me."

walked by a gym. "They're way more physically fit than me."

taken a dance class. "Yeah, he can freestyle worlds better than I ever will."

been at a musical theatre audition. "His voice blows mine out of the water."

thought I was PERFECT for a role only to get passed up by someone *more* perfect.

And when this happens, there is 

so

much

PRESSURE

to work harder and longer and to beat out the faster, smarter, better people who seem to be granted all life's opportunities,

to take the right workshops, be in the right classes, meet the right casting directors, self-produce the right material with the right people.

Or I won't get my fulfillment in life,

my full feeling.

Back to the psalmist in Ps 73. It finally dawns on him to seek wisdom in an encounter with God (v 17, "Then I went into your sanctuary, O God, and I finally understood..."), and lo and behold, God shows him (read: me)--

"Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside."

I had a heart issue that needed to be addressed by Jesus.

A few weeks ago, Pastor Judah Smith preached a message about this topic. His key verse was John 1:16.

"From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."

We can operate from His fullness.

Jesus has no deficiency.

On this earth, His default interaction was looking for creative ways to add value to people. He emptied himself completely. Now, His relationship with me is *for* me.

Judah says, "This reality is available to us by simply trusting Jesus; it eradicates the insecurity of 'I don't measure up,' and 'I'm not enough'."

How much dream-worrying would be sucked out of life if I received from His fullness?

What would my life look like as an employee, as a friend, as an artist, if I related and loved people from a full place? How would I give

and serve

and add value?

"CHRIST IS ALL THAT MATTERS... Clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults... Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts." - Paul, to the Colossians

When I receive fullness and completeness that comes from Jesus, I can also allow him to be my perfect timing.

When my gifts seem five-loaves-and-two-fish kind of underwhelming, when other artists seem to be brimming with an arsenal of gifts and abilities far exceeding mine, I can remind myself that the perfect gift-giver is also the perfect gift-user.

And because of Him, I am complete. And with that, He can feed multitudes... until they're full.

A mere mortal

From the City of Angels

Livin his dream

The one about Glee

*Note: I began drafting this blog long before the sad death of Cory Monteith. This post is not meant to capitalize on tragedy, however thematically timely.*

"Hey Jonathan, I just sent you an audition and wanted to make sure you got it. It's for Glee. The audition's this Sunday, is that okay?"

My mouth dropped open.

My manager had called to tell me about my fifth audition that week. Friggin unheard of, for me. Not only that, but it was for a recurring singing role

on Glee.

Holy cow. Glee.

Let me explain my excitement: When the pilot episode of Glee aired in May 2009, the musical theatre kids of America went wild, celebrating with Harry Potter marathons and choreographing dances. Aeschylus saw us from heaven and granted a TV show... perfect for us. Finally. I watched that pilot probably a dozen times in a row.

I immediately proceeded to retreat to my bedroom and make my audition tape.

See, FOX was testing the show out and the next episodes weren't airing until fall. So, I recorded myself singing "Family" from Dreamgirls--a little cheesy and yet a little perfect--and burned it to a DVD. I didn't know who specifically was casting the show, but I did know the office. I basically addressed it "to whomever holds the key to my future" and snail-mailed that baby in.

Of course, it was an unsolicited mailing from a random kid with no agent. And because the show was a huge hit, it became impossible to get an audition with that casting office. I never heard back.

Later, jerks, they did this myspace competition for a chance to be on the show. Everyone uploaded a video. (In fact, my video is still probably floating around out there somewhere and maybe I should delete it.) Well, that competition was quietly cancelled and replaced by a full-blown reality competition show on Oxygen.

But nothing could get me on the show. I didn't have any representation powerful enough to get me in the room. 

And then (as I've blogged before) I had a certain friend land a recurring role during season 2.

It was torture.

As the seasons progressed, the show went downhill. The stories grew tiresome, the songs grew radio-driven, and the magic fizzled. I stopped watching.

Now, years later, I had an audition for a singing role on the show.

At my dining table, God spoke to me:

"See?

Do you see my faithful goodness? Do you see the ability of my hand to put you in any audition room I see fit?

Do you see where you used to be and where I've brought you now?

Do you see that if I had wanted you on the show in its first season, I could have done so?

Do you see that I will use you in the way that best brings glory to me?"

It was so powerful. I used to see (aka idolize) the show as a door of opportunity and dreams that God was withholding from me. And now I was in a place where God was providing me with auditions and when this one came up, it wasn't a bigger deal than any other audition.

Maybe I wasn't ready a few years ago for the life that comes along with being on a hit TV show. The sudden death of Cory reminds me that I don't know a thing about the burdens that more successful people carry.

However, I think the timing on this audition is more about God saying, "You're not Glee because, right now, it is most strategic for My kingdom for you not to be on Glee."

And doesn't that apply to every area of our lives? Relationships? Finances? 

If we live our lives in obedience to God, to the best of our abilities, then we have to trust that the areas frustrating us are matters of strategic timing for the Kingdom of God.

A mere mortal

From the City of Angels

Livin his dream

The one about 2012

So, I don't really journal. But a year in tweets was kind of the same thing. 

Compiling this, I re-visited the highlights of 2012, thanking God for goals met and life lived. (I also discovered how much I tweet at Bieber. Oops!)

(#LTD = Livin the dream, #smh = shaking my head, #dtla = downtown Los Angeles)

Here are a few tweets from each month providing insight into the life of a surviving actor, an Angeleno, and a Christian:

5 Jan

Leavin MIA. I can't think of a better way to have started my year. #blessed. @JasonLamson, ur a stud. #LivinTheDream Tooooo Caliiii!

9 Jan

My life is SO #blessed every game night. #LTD @DrBubblesMD @titusmakin @melissa_hays @GabrielleDLG @Cornelldavisjr @Aarontainment @curtmega

12 Jan

At rehearsal late. Comforting to know that even tho the guests leave, the magic doesn't.

2 Feb

Someone's poodle crawled into my fitting room at the mall. #soLA

8 Feb

At the LACC, PAing the MusiCares show, a pre-#Grammy benefit concert. I'll see celebs this wknd, but I'm still not as cool as @cameronernst.

23 Feb

Looking at a "Chase freedom" MasterCard. #irony @DaveRamsey

25 Feb

In the Dream Center Studio today w/@joshcumbeemusic @Erika_Georgiou. 8 artists, 7 songs, and 1 day making music magic happen.

1 Mar

Celebrating! Wearin my @justinbieber tee, plans to watch NSN, buying some JB swag, blasting "Bigger". #Believe it. He's 18.

8 Mar

Dragged @JasonLamson to watch me in class at Edge. Surprising how he liked it way better when cute dancers started talkin to him. #soLA

8 Mar

Devos at Griffith Park. #LTD

8 Mar

Saw the Facebook show at Upright Citizens Brigade w/@ohkate89 @JasonLamson @rushmore08 n took bout 200 stairs 1 at a time. #LTD

23 Mar

I'm at Grand Central Market for the first time. (I'm a little behind; I've lived #dtla for 7 months now.)

24 Mar

Yes! Hi. Larious! @monkeybutlerla improv show--doing Buddhism and Calvinism jokes.

4 Apr

"@MatthewBarnett: Your talent will get you through the door, your tenacity will take you down the hall." #actors #hollywood

8 Apr

Headed to OC for a Wirick Easter w/@derekstusynski and @joeyloomis. :D!! We're "freeway serenading" the ladies who'll pay attention. #LTD

10 Apr

Yep. That homeless lady at Pershing Square was meow-ing at me. #soLA

11 Apr

LOVED teaching @JordanJansen some sweet moves to 1 of his songs. Then he rocked it out w/@ISAIAH61Dance on cam. @joshcumbeemusic

15 Apr

Commence principal photography on Greg & Joe 3! The third installment of everyone's fav epic web series. @joethans

21 Apr

Celebrating my stand-up debut @TheLabUSC. Eating what we believe *might be* manna. #LTD pic.twitter.com/y4zWMQjh

26 Apr

Woo! Soarin Over California w/my sis. #AndThenIHitMyDougie

29 Apr

Just dropped @ruschjessica back at LAX. :'( Best weekend of my life, y u no last forever?!!

4 May

I love LA's faces. So diverse. I love the personalities. The crazy. The creativity. The potential for God's glory. Best city in the world.

19 May

Chillin outside in San Diego w/Derek Roth at indie coffee shop. This is paradise. No twitpic could show it. #LTD

23 May

Auditioned for a commercial...in Spanish. Me gustaaa! Lol.

10 Jun

What happens at #BillyBobs stays at Billy Bobs. #Texas #TwoStep #LineDancing #Blondes #Boots #CougarNamedPeggy #LTD @cameronernst

16 Jun

All the lies (incl my last tweet) paid off! Surprised my #mom @Iheartdsw for her 50th. Party was *awesome*. Now we're eating cereal. #happy

14 Jul

"@JoyceMeyer: You will never get what you want as long as you're jealous of what other people have." #acting

18 Jul

"@MatthewBarnett: Never rush a process to get to a long term goal." #acting

18 Jul

Just had an audition where we--no joke--played Freeze Dance. The theater games I teach to 8-year-olds at #camp are *REAL*.

22 Jul

Hiked to a waterfall today w/ @spenserjones @catrionareid & Vanessa #needstwitter @joshcumbeemusic & @Erika_Georgiou. Now at In-n-out! #LTD

16 Aug

I had #ChickFilA for bfast on Sat and then again every day this week. Clearly, I have no accountability. 

27 Aug

How much do I love AGO #Rush? So much. Always have, always will.

28 Aug

Getting ready for my 1st day of training at Bottega! I feel like it's the 1st day of school. (Ehhh...except for the non-slip shoes part.)

13 Sep

Any other #actors just get that casting call for "Weightloss Candidate #2"? No? :/ I find that a step down even from "Frightened Inmate #2".

16 Sep

So weird. I'm an iPhone owner for the 1st time ever. Startin on a 4S. We'll see...

19 Sep

It's like we connect over #food or sthg. 1st @drlangley1 and I had BCDs in Ktown, then we had @Milkshakes247 in WeHo. (Be jealous, Mom.)

21 Sep

“@StevenMWhite: My roommate just sold his car. I haven't even done that yet. #Amazing #CarFree" How do I get to my audition in Burbank tmw?

29 Sep

Tooooo LODIIIIIII...! For @GetMcGlad's wedding! W/ @StevenMWhite @KarterDiane and Allen Kryder pic.twitter.com/HwQiK6i3

7 Oct

On worship team @AngelusTempleLA, with @RachaelLampa singing. Plus I'm projecting big #fantasy numbers. #winning (bc of #Jesus)

7 Oct

Dear Lord, I need a helper. I mean, thx for the Holy Spirit, but I also need a *laundry* helper. Amen.

17 Oct

Saw writer Mitch Miller @DrBubblesMD, workshopping his screenplay. #soLA

21 Oct

Sometimes, I like to play the game "Method Actor or Crazy Homeless Person?" In downtown LA, it's a *really* hard game. 

30 Oct

Havin Mom come visit is uh-MAY-zing. Clean laundry, choc chip cookies, compliments... :D @Iheartdsw

6 Nov

Projecting on a 8'x20' screen at an #Election2012 party, wearing my camouflage Coors Light hat & patriotic button. MURICA!

18 Nov

BAHAHA!! #soLA!! Spotted at Farmer's Market in the valley. Notice that there's FREE ADJACENT DOG-SITTING. #smh

23 Nov

Wrappin up T-day w/ The Blind Side. Seriously, did smn create the perfect holiday? Yes. God did. #LTD

4 Dec

Just left my manager's office at @newwavetweets. So so blessed to have a rep who believes in me as much as my mom does!

13 Dec

Christmas Candlelight at #disneyland

17 Dec

PTL! PTL!! It's here at last! My new Suzuki GSX650! Shwing!

23 Dec

@mely1018 Aren't you Mayan? Shouldn't you be recalling a bunch of calendars? Like, MILLIONS of calendars? (Ticked off.)

24 Dec

Welp. Got stuck in a middle seat on this @SouthwestAir flight. But does it really matter when the #Seahawks are going to the playoffs?

28 Dec
If you've never ridden Harleys w/your dad, you should try it! #dec #photoaday Day 28: #ABeautifulSight

2012 was an awesome year. SO so grateful.

Here comes 2013, the year of confidence!

A mere mortal

From the City of Angels

Livin his dream