But you've still probably heard of Waiting for Godot or at least it's Nobel Prize-winning playwright Samuel Beckett. The Times (London)--and I'm pulling this quote off the back cover here--called it, "One of the most noble and moving plays of our generation, a threnody of hope deceived and deferred but never extinguished..." (Yeah, I had to look up "threnody" too.)
Basically, all you need to know is that two guys seem to wait day after day for a man named Godot who never shows up.
Although the play was originally written in French (and the play-on-words doesn't work in French), many people see Godot as a symbol for God... and that the title could very easily be Waiting for Godot.
I feel like I've been waiting on God for a long time.
To clarify, I feel like I've been waiting for God to bring me into the destiny as an artist that I've been called to. I can look back at my life and see how much I've grown and how much He's prepared me for this job... but a lot of times I wonder if it's even coming.
I'm sure you feel or have felt the same way, too.
"There's gotta be more to it than this."
"How much longer can I go before I decide that I was wrong?"
"Sure, dreams can change, but isn't that just a cop out for quitting what you loved first?"
Whether or not you're a surviving artist, these are big questions even when the biggest questions about meaning and eternity seem figured out.
However, right now, I seem to be waiting less on God (which I was sort of getting used to, in a manner of speaking), and waiting more on people.
In mid-September I had an audition for Tokyo Disney. This would be a huge 13-month commitment with no home leave, beginning next spring. A big change, a big risk, but a big opportunity.
Now, I already work for the Mouse, subbing in the "Celebrate: A Street Party" parade. I made it through every round of cuts until they took my measurements, pictures, contact info, etc. They even gave me their contact info (so you know they're serious). Casting decisions were supposed to be finished by "the 2nd week of October."
But that didn't happen.
A couple weeks ago, I started trying to make contact with people in casting. I finally got a hold of someone Stateside who said they are still in the process of making offers but should be wrapped up by the end of the month.
Well, that hasn't happened either.
And I haven't wanted to throw myself into staying or leaving since I don't know what I'm doing. But I can't just sit around for weeks that turn into months waiting on people.
So, I'm deciding (as I type this, really) to pursue a manager, become SAG-eligible, save up the $2277 to become SAG, get into acting/dance/voice classes, work out (ugh...), etc.
I want to make myself available to God, but I also want to make myself the best instrument possible for my craft.
I don't really love absurdist theatre (helloooo! ...it's absurd!), but I do appreciate how The Times mentioned that for all its search for beauty in life's uncertainty and even pain, Waiting for Godot is about a hope "never extinguished."
Reminds me of something I once read...
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.
A mere mortal
From the City of Angels
Livin his dream
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