*shakes head*
So, I just got an email from my agency. They're dropping me theatrically (read: for film/tv). It's sort of adding insult to injury, really, since the theatrical agent there has never sent me on a film or television audition. Bothers me.
In attempt to obtain some good representation, this year I've been performing in some agent/manager showcases. Essentially, I put up a scene or monologue in front of representation and hopefully they like me enough to take me on.
I recently got an email from a manager at a *huge* LA management company that I *really* wanted. It said,
"I had to privilege of seeing you at the showcase last night ...and wanted to let you know that I thought you were fantastic! You’re incredibly adorable with a great sense of comedy. You definitely have something special..."
It continued, "...and if I hadn’t recently signed someone who is developmental and has a very similar look and feel as you I'd love to represent you."
Frick.
So encouraging. And also heartbreaking.
That day, I was pretty low. Discouraged, for sure.
And it came on the heels of a conversation I'd had with a friend a few days earlier. He'd asked me, knowing that my life as a surviving actor is hard, how I keep it up.
I told him of my community of actors and friends who support me. I told him of my trust in God's timing.
I forgot to tell him that God graciously gives me a spirit of relentlessness.
One of my heroes says that the one who stays in the community the longest, wins the community. I feel the same can be said about Hollywood. Stick it out long enough, care long enough, suffer for the cause long enough, and you will eventually win it over.
Not only will you win. I'll have become a Christlike winner.
Paul tells us in Philippians that it has been granted to us to suffer for Christ. For some reason, he finds that it is a *gift*.
In his book, Waking the Dead, John Eldredge wastes no time in asking a very hard question: why is life so freaking hard? Where is this glorious, more-than-conquering victory we're supposed to know?
Life is hard because we amidst a very real war against a very real enemy. Jesus makes this clear. Our enemy's "purpose is to steal and kill and destroy." Sounds heavy. Especially since he later adds, "Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows."
And then the game-changer:
"But take heart, because I have overcome the world."
So, he promises suffering. The logical thing to do would be to arm oneself. This way, we don't react to it out of bewilderment or some sort of knee-jerk shock. In Ephesians 6 (MSG), Paul explains:
"God is strong, and he wants you strong.
So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way.
This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours.
This is for keeps,
a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.
Be prepared."
I heard a John Bevere message about this critical preparation not too long ago. He says:
To prepare, know that you have the power to remain firm. No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face.
Remember that God will never let you down;
He'll never let you be pushed past your limit;
He'll always be there to help you come through it.
Also, the devil does *not* have free access to you. The Father only allows tests so we can have victory against the devil. This only magnifies how good God is. In fact, all suffering for righteousness, when endured with God's strength, is profitable. Its results are always glorious. It strengthens us in our call.
perpetual victory parade.
No weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged.
To prepare, you must embrace a positive attitude toward adversity. God's grace is empowerment; it is all you need, demonstrating its strength in anything you can't humanly overcome.
So you can take heart! Abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks,
being rejected by managers and agents--
just let Christ take over! And so the weaker you get, the stronger you become.
The good news is, the more you defeat enemy traps, engagements, and encampments along the way, the more experienced and battle-savvy you become.
I once had a school administrator with the mantra: "Everything in life is a test." I would say, every test in life is endurance training, baby! It increases your capacity to handle future challenges.
God will allow trials to *simulate the level of pressure in your future*, which is why they always seem beyond what you're currently ready for.
James 1:4 -- So let [your capacity] grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be *perfect and complete*, needing nothing.
In this light, adversity is *exciting*! It is opportunity-creating! Yeah, to a very real extent, it sucks. Rejection and discouragement aren't fun. But a relentlessness that see these times as gifts... well that puts us on the way to a new level of authority and power!
It makes you a winner.
A mere mortal
From the City of Angels
Livin his dream
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